The voices in my head

They don’t ever stop
They don’t ever shush
Every second of every day
Day and night, night and day
On and on and on
Sometimes gentle
Sometimes harsh
At times friendly
Other times unkind
Occasionally insane
Rarely pleasant
Often dark and suicidal
Lost in the depths of despair

One is that of my father’s…
His disappointment in me
His displeasure at my actions
His disapproval of the way I think
His dissatisfaction with who I am
His irritation at the choices I make
His frustration at my stubbornness
His annoyance at my disobedience
His anger towards me

One is that of my mother’s…
Her wish that we could be close
Her hope that I would change
Her expectations from a daughter
Her optimism in a brighter future
Her determination in transforming me
Her motivation in directing me
Her regret of not pushing me earlier
Her anger towards me

One is that of society…
Its want for me to be perfect
Its need for me to play along
Its requirement of me to keep moving
Its force which makes me put up an act
Its power of making me blend in
Its harshness in making me somebody else
Its wrath against me if I say no
Its anger towards me

One is that of you…
Your hate so strong I flinch
Your resentment so true I cry
Your bitterness so real I wince
Your hostility so harsh I recoil
Your punishment so cruel I hurt
Your words so painful I ache
Your coldness so total I die
Your anger towards me

One is that of me…
I am lost forever in nowhere
I am all alone in this world
I am ugly inside and out
I am unworthy of Him
I am the cause of all their pain
I am my own worst enemy
I am what make’s me what I am
I am angry at me

The voices in my head
They don’t ever stop…